Monthly Archives: October 2013

The Roma

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There has been a lot of media attention in the past week regarding the Roma people. Most of this media attentioon is centering around a situation in Greece where a fair-complected child was removed from the care of a Roma couple who following DNA testing were determined not to be her biological parents. I am not going to comment on this situation.

What I would like to draw people’s attention to is the surronding attention (and stereotypes) of the Roma people in general.

The Roma population in general meets with various levels of stereotypes, segregation, and discrimination throughout Europe. Please read further in the links below for further details

MSNBC: Spotlight on Roma

CNN: Irish Roma Child Case

CNN: Roma Discrimination

CNN: Opinion Column on Roma discrimination in Europe

CNN: Photoblog: Plight of the Roma

Although no one can say for sure at this time, a majority of children adopted internationally from orphanages in Bulgaria are Roma, so it follows there is a strong likelihood that my children will be Roma.

My children would not face the same discrimination challenges in my community. In fact, in bringing these series of stories to light to coworkers, many simply could not fathom disrimination against the Roma, even after seeing photos. Call us a naive corner of the world, but it is something that we simply don’t run across in our work-community.

The report of the children in Ireland being subjected to DNA testing due to perceived racial differences strikes our family very close to home. My mother is Native American Indian. She has the classic darker skin, brown eyes, and dark brown hair. My sister possessed these physical attributes as well. I, on the other hand, am subject to a fairly common genetic quirk amongst members of our tribe. I have impossibly fair skin, grey-blue eyes, and dark blonde/light brown hair. In summary: I look NOTHING like my mother. My BIOLOGICAL mother. My (aforementioned darker) sister married an equally dark-complected man. My nephew (see posts in June 2013 for his pics) is also subject to the fair-skinned genetic quirk. I cannot fathom how upset I would be if any member of my family had to prove that we were biologically related just because we didn’t look alike.

Or biologically related at all! After all, as my mother (an adoptee herself) can tell you…biology is NOT what makes you a family. And (obviously) as I persue adoption I can tell you that having children biologically related to me doesn’t matter (to me) AT ALL.

We cannot wait to accept a child of any racial or ethic background into this home.

Adoption Education

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To adopt from Bulgaria (a country that is party to the Hauge convention) 10 hours of adoption education are required.

Last year I completed the Hague Package (15 hours at that time) from Adoption Training Online. . It was an excellent package, but in my opinion it doesn’t cover anywhere near the education required to parent children with special needs (especially those dealing with the unique challenges of adoption).

Prior to persuing International Adoption I attended over 44 hours on training related to Foster care and Adoption challenges, much of which will be extremely helpful with this adoption. Since taking the Hague-Required courses last fall I have read over 2 dozen books on International adoption and related issues. I have plans to read a few more but thus far I have found the following ones to be very useful: The Happiest Toddler on the Block by Harvey Karp M.D., The Attachment Parenting Book by William Sears M.D. and Martha Sears R.N., Toddler Adoption-A Weaver’s Craft by Mary Hopkins-Best, The Complete Single Mother by Andrea Engbar and Leah Klugness, Simplicity Parenting by Kim John Payne, Attaching in Adoption by Deborah Gray, Beyond the Rainbow Bridge by Barbara Patterson, and Bebe Day by Day by Pamela Druckerman. At the very minimum I would reccomend that anyone persuing Internation Adoption read Attaching in Adoption and Toddler Adoption- A Weaver’s Craft.

Take in addition to all of the above all the classes I took in College on Psychology, Developmental Psychology, and Pediatric Nursing…

And I’m still not sure that I feel entirely educated on the issue.

Education is a lifelong process and I know that I have only just begun my education on International Adoption and related issues, but this (I hope) is a good start.

Today, a fellow adoptive parent brought up this in one of the Bulgaria Groups on Facebook. The following website Adoption Learning Partners is offering 5 free hours of Adoption Education through the end of November 2013.

7 months waiting

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It has now been 7 months since our dossier was submitted to the MOJ. Seven. Months.

It feels like an eternity.

Do you remember when you were a little kid and a year took, like, FOREVER?

Yeah, it’s like that.

I try to keep thining of all I need to accomplish in the next month. Finish homestudy update, pay for homestudy update, apostille homestudy update, submit homestudy update, submit Supplements 1, 2, & 3 for the USCIS I-800A, (hopefully) get fingerprints back from the FBI, have those apostilled, and submit those…etc, etc, etc.

Somewhere in Bulgaria 4 IAC meetings will take place this month…is this our month…will we get a referral? It certainly is possible, even plausible, given our new update to our age range and acceptable mmedical needs list. I hope it will happen. Soon.

Waiting is the hardest part.

Homestudy update

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Homestudy update meeting today, we are nearing completion of this step.

I love meeting with our caseworker. She is an absolute delight. Of all the people that I have worked with in this adoption she is the only one I have met face-to-face. Something else that may come as a shock to some is how little is done over the phone as well. In over a year I have had less than a handful of telephone conversations. In this day in age it is possible to conduct an international adoption communicating almost entirely by email.

Does that give it less of a personal touch? I don’t think so. I find it incredibly convienent that I conduct what needs to be done in-between the patients I see during the day without taking anything away from either my patients or my adoption. In my world it is the definition of “work-life balance.”

Unfortunately, no

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Our agency was once again unable to obtain the files on the children we inquired on. 😦 I think we will be taking a break from inquiring until at least after the holidays are over. In the next 3 months we have 3 birthdays and 4 major family holidays.

If that wasn’t enough to keep us busy…the last step of the home study update is scheduled for tomorrow. Once that is done we will still need to resubmit our paperwork to the USCIS. And we are awaiting my Mum’s fingerprints to be returned from the FBI. Unfortunately, everyday that the government remains shutdown delays the return of that portion of our paperwork update. It is also likely that just as soon as we update the I-800a we will have to immediately turn around and request our first I-800a extension. So we will be elbow-deep in paperwork until well after the new year.

Waldorf or Ikea?

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I would like to clue a few people in on my favorite pasttime for the past few months. With my playroom entering it’s final stages of completion, and my love of saving money guiding me I present my Waldorf vs. Ikea post.

Toy Ball: Waldorf price: $24.95
waldorf toy ball

Toy Ball: Ikea price: $1.99
Ikea toy ball

Wooden Stacking Rings: Waldorf price: $19.95
Waldorf Stacking Rings

Wooden Stacking Rings: Ikea price: $5.99 (Fun Fact: These are made in Bulgaria!)
Ikea Stacking Rings

Toddler Wagon: Waldorf price: $159.95
Waldorf Toddler Wagon

Toddler Wagon: Ikea price: $19.99
Ikea Toddler Wagon

Hammering Toy: Waldorf price: $18.95
Waldorf Hammering Toy

Hammering Toy: Ikea price: $5.99
Ikea hammering toy

Children’s Table and Chairs: Waldorf price: $199.95
waldorf table and chairs

Children’s Table and Chairs: Ikea price: $19.99
ikea table and chairs

Play Canopy: Waldorf price: $129.95
Waldorf Play canopy

Play Canopy: Ikea price: $19.99
Ikea Play canopy

Castle Tent: Waldorf price: $255.95
Waldorf Castle Tent

Castle Tent: Ikea price: $19.99
Ikea Castle tent

Wooden Play Kitchen: Waldorf price: $269.95
Waldorf play kitchen

Wooden Play Kitchen: Ikea price: $99.99
Ikea play kitchen

Now I love, Love, LOVE Waldorf items. But, if you are like me and are looking for the look without the price tag, sometimes Ikea is the way to go.