4 (plus) months

I don’t even know where to begin with this post.

Jude is sleeping in her own bed at the moment. We have been trying this out here and there over the past few weeks. Partly because I am going slightly crazy after 4 months not sleeping next to a child with a sleep disorder. Partly because I have been in enough meetings about Ebola lately that the thought had crossed my mind that if something should go random at work I wouldn’t want Jude to be traumatized (again) by suddenly having to sleep alone while I submit to voluntary ( or otherwise) quarantine. And partly because I have been having a minor medical problem and I think I have been waking her up at night sometimes.

However, as predicted…this has not been easy. Ain’t nobody can tantrum like a newly adopted toddler and frankly I am surprised I have not yet seen the city police department yet. I have my explanation all prepared for when they do eventually arrive. I hope that they show up while she is shrieking “No night night” at 150 decibels. I’ll film the whole thing including the part where she gets so angry at her own echo in the hall that her face turns purple. We’ll watch it on holidays when she is a teenager. And sleeping more than 2 hours in a row.

Until then and besides that things are moving along. Jude’s first post placement report is all done. We will wrap up Jude’s foreign adoption recognition with a formal hearing on Monday. After that we have one last thing to do: get Jude an American passport.

In some smaller milestones: Jude is now drinking from an open cup. She is learning to floss her teeth. And she now allows me to brush and comb her hair without fussing.

We have a busy few months ahead too. Starting Friday. First Halloween. Haven’t quite figured out how to get her excited about it yet especially where she doesn’t particularly like candy. Now if only my neighbors would hand out V8 and string cheese.

Randomness

It has been one of those crazy weeks. As the saying goes: You can’t make this shit up.

It all started last Saturday morning when Jude dove headfirst into my shower fully clothed. Before noon that day she managed to:
eat a political flyer
break 2 dinner plates and a drinking glass
lock me out of the house, in the rain, while I was only wearing my socks.
That night she proceeded to wake up at 2:45 AM, strip nearly naked, and attempt to go downstairs to do some cooking (so she said).
Later that morning while reading a book the following exchange took place while reading a book:
Jude: “Big Bird!”
Me: “Yes, Jude, that’s right. That’s Big Bird.”
Jude (still pointing to Big Bird): “Yum”
Me: “No, Jude, we aren’t going to eat Big Bird.”
I made chicken casserole that night for dinner.

The week got marginally better although we had quite a few bedtime debates. Wednesday’s was particularly interesting when Jude insisted on wearing my bra to bed. She ended up winning that one as she had put it on in such a way I couldn’t figure out how to get it off her. Although when I woke up in the morning she had taken it off overnight. Some lessons you can never learn to early…

Thursday was the anniversary of the IAC meeting (261) that matched us 1 year ago. We celebrated with Ice cream. And making it to bed on time.

Yesterday evening I did some online shopping for her birthday next month. Having no solid idea of what she wanted I just scrolled through a few links I had saved until she went “Ooooo” then out came my debit card. This will be the 3rd birthday that she gets a doll, but I don’t know where the dolls from the previous 2 birthdays (as seen in photos) went.

Today things took a turn for the aquatic when I started up the washing machine and flooded a good portion of the basement. My 41 year old washer, it would seem, has gone to the great Kenmore Elysium.

But I have some awesome parents who let me borrow theirs and BOUGHT ME A NEW ONE.

That or they are a bit freaked at the concept of washing cloth diapers…

Jude’s “culture”

During Jude’s post placement visit this past week I was asked what I am doing to preserve Jude’s culture.
While I learned quite a bit about Jude’s birth country while we were there I consider Jude’s culture to be that of the Roma, since Jude is Roma and she spent the year before the adoption living with her foster family who was also Roma.
So what do I know about the Roma? I was given a brief insight into her life at her foster home from her foster mother (which has been invaluable information) and I have found a few (precious few) resources on the internet.
I would love to know more. One day Jude will have questions and I want to have the answers for her. I want her to be proud of who and what she is because we live in a place where being Roma isn’t a bad thing.
But where Jude came from…it was.
The discrimination was so terribly rampant while we were there we were shocked.
How do I keep her culture alive when right now it seems that her culture is all about surviving the oppression of others? How do I (a non Roma person) instill that self esteem and pride in my child when I can barely find information from Roma individuals.
I worry that (from what I have read) her adoption has basically cast her out of her Roma culture, because I am not Roma as well.
I try to learn and understand as much as I can so that when the questions come I will be ready.

So if you are wondering, I took the easy road and said all the Bulgarian things that we are doing. I am not sure that there will ever be Roma things. per se. Maybe that is just trying to keep the day to day life as similar to life in her foster home.